Far From Ready
by x l i f e r u s h i n g i n x
Summary: Logan and James moved from Minnesota to Hollywood after high school to live their dreams with promises to always be together. So how did James get here, waking up hung over on cold sheets, alone? AU Jagan.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Sup, peeps! This my second BTR story, but my first Jagan pairing. It's a songfic based on Baeza's song Far From Ready, so check that out. Still not sure how long this is gonna be, but it'll probably be about the same length as my Kenlos story or longer.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush, the characters, or the song Far From Ready by Baeza and I make no profit from this story.**

**Prologue**

James groaned and rolled over, trying to escape the bright rays of sun pressing down on him through his bedroom window. The light fueled the hammers pounding within his head, strengthening the blows. Not for the first time he wondered if he would ever get used to it; if it would ever become bearable. Drinking and getting high is a lot more fun while you're doing it than it is the next morning.

Still disoriented and more than slightly hung over, he reached an arm over to the other side of the bed. It fell on empty, cold sheets. For a moment he was confused, and then he remembered. _He's gone._ James humorlessly laughed aloud at himself before he slowly slid out of bed, heading towards the shower. He turned the water on, not caring if it was too hot or not, before stepping under the spray.

How had he forgotten? Logan had been gone over a week already. Logan had said he was done. He had said they were over. James almost had himself convinced that he didn't care anymore, but as he stepped out of the bathroom, freshly showered with a towel wrapped around his hips, that conviction went away.

For the first time since he stumbled in earlier that morning, he looked around his apartment. It seemed different somehow. And under closer scrutiny, he realized why.

Logan's things were gone. All his pictures, all his books, the little knick-knacks and things you wouldn't notice unless you were looking for them. He checked the closet and Logan's side was empty. _He must have come and gotten them while I was gone yesterday_, James thought. He didn't know why he was so surprised. Logan had said he would. But a small part of him had hoped that Logan would come back and try to work things out.

Now, as he stared at the barren rack in the closet, he knew he wouldn't. It was really over.

Logan was gone for good, but James wasn't going to cry. He was done with that. Fuck Logan. If he was going to throw away a nearly four-year long relationship and a friendship that had lasted longer than that because James made a mistake and he didn't want to try to fix it, then James didn't need him. There were plenty of fish in the sea, so to speak. He didn't need Logan.

**Please review and add to your story alerts! Let me know what you think so far! (:**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, there's a huge time jump in this story. I probably should've warned you in the prologue, but oh well. And I changed the summary cause I didn't really like the old one, but this one isn't much better, lol. Anyway, on with the story!**

**Chapter 1**

_Four years earlier_

**Logan's POV**

"I don't get why you don't just ask him out already, Logan."

My eyes bugged and my mouth opened in shock as I whipped my head around. My desk chair followed the motion, spinning me around slightly in time to catch Kendall rolling his eyes at me from his spot sprawled across my bed, a textbook open in front of him.

"What?" I asked, playing dumb.

Kendall sat up on the bed, raising his eyebrow at me. I wasn't fooling him.

"Logan, c'mon. Everyone knows you're in love with James. It's pretty obvious with the way you're always looking at him. You almost remind me of a puppy with the way your eyes get all big and dopey. He likes you, too, but you both don't seem to notice each other's feelings. So do yourself a favor and just ask him out," Kendall said, shrugging his shoulders.

I furrowed my brow, thinking about what Kendall had said. I wanted to protest that there was no way James liked me back. I mean, look at me. I'm the nerdy one, not much to look at. And James is… James. The best looking guy in our school who can make any girl – and me – melt with his gorgeous smile. He's funny, a great friend, and so talented. He's always had big dreams of doing big things and I have no doubt he'll do them. How could he possibly like someone like me? Not to mention the fact that I'm pretty sure he's straight.

I think Kendall could tell I was psyching myself out, which is why he continued speaking.

"Look, you know James. He's a great guy and he's your best friend. If he did something stupid like saying no, I know he'll still be here for you. Nothing will change. The worst thing that could happen is that it'll be awkward for a little while, but you'll be back to normal before you know it."

I sighed. "I don't know, Kendall. What if he does say yes and the date ends badly? Or what if it goes great and we decide to date but then we break up and it ruins our friendship?" I rambled on.

"Logan sometimes you gotta take chances. Otherwise you'll be stuck, always wondering 'what if?' You should know this. Aren't you supposed to be the smart one?" he joked.

I laughed with him. "Hey, I'm allowed to have my moments," I protested lightly before sighing again. "I never really pictured myself being the one to make the first move, though. James is the confident one."

"Yeah, but he doesn't know you like him back and he probably wouldn't believe me if I told him you did. He's not going to ask you out first because James would never set himself up for a possible rejection. That would hurt his pride too much."

Kendall did have a point. "Ok, ok. I'll ask him out."

Kendall grinned at me before he laid back down and pretended to be doing his homework.

"Just make it soon."

**James' POV**

As I walked down the hall towards my locker, I shot flirting grins at all the girls calling out greetings to me. Same ol' hallway routine. When I got there, I saw Logan waiting for me to walk to the cafeteria with him as we did everyday at lunch.

"Hey, Logan."

I quickly spun my combination and opened the door to see a _very_ handsome dude – better known as James Diamond – reflected in the mirror inside my locker. I pulled out my lucky comb to tame any stray hairs, but not much was out of place. When I was sure I looked perfect, I smiled, switched out my books and slammed my locker shut, lucky comb safely in my pocket once again. That's when I noticed Logan hadn't said anything since I got there and he looked really nervous, like he was scared he had got a B on his test or something.

"Hey, Logan, what's up?" I asked as I steered him to the cafeteria.

"What? Uh, no-nothing's up. Why, does it seem like something's up?" he stuttered out, not fooling me at all.

"Actually, yes. So spill."

We entered the lunch room and found our table. Carlos and Kendall weren't there yet, so I figured they were still in the lunch line. Logan's mom always made his lunch for him and I hated school lunch so I either went off campus or just didn't eat. We left the line to our other hockey-playing buddies. I waited as Logan carefully sat beside me before pulling his lunch from his backpack at a grandma pace. When he had it laid out in front of him just how he wanted it, I thought for sure he would start talking, but he only grabbed one of his apple slices and took a bite.

"Want one?" he offered, obviously avoiding the subject.

"Seriously, c'mon, Logan. Tell me," I begged while taking the offered apple slice.

What, I'm hungry. No point in refusing, even if he was only offering as a distraction.

"Th-there's nothing to tell," he rushed to assure me, but I could tell it was a lie. Logan's a horrible liar.

It was really starting to bug me that he was hiding something from me. A good friend would probably leave it alone and let Logan tell them when he was ready to. But I must not be a good friend because _I_ needed to know _now_, and if I had to force him to tell me, I would.

"Really, Logan? You're not going to tell me, your best friend, what's bothering you? Fine, I'll just start telling Carlos everything and Kendall can be your best friend since you were _so_ busy with him yesterday that you couldn't hang out with me. I bet he knows what's wrong," I accused with a pout, still jealous that my best friend – also the guy I've had a crush on since the 7th grade – had picked someone else over me, even if it was just Kendall.

The look on his face was surprised and slightly hurt, making me regret forcing it out of him this way. Maybe I should apologize… After he tells me.

"What? No, James, Kendall and I were just doing homework! You could've hung out with us, but I know you would have been bored the whole time." I started to worry as Logan started to repack his lunch and his voice became angry. "But you're right, Kendall does know what's wrong. He's the one who created the problem, actually. If you want to make a big deal out of it, fine. You wanna know what's wrong? I was going to ask you out, but I didn't know how."

I'm pretty sure he kept talking, but I stopped hearing him after that last sentence. Logan wanted to ask me out? Logan _liked_ me? This was the greatest moment of my existence. I can't believe that he planned on asking me out. Unless I made him so mad that he changed his mind. I hope not. I couldn't stand it if I ruined my chance to be with the only person I have ever had real feelings for because I was being stupid and said something I shouldn't have.

I tuned out of my mind enough to realize that Logan was leaving. I quickly jumped up to follow him just as Carlos and Kendall were sitting down with their lunch trays.

"What's wrong with Logan? He looked mad," Carlos said, but I ignored him, going after Logan instead.

"Logan, wait!" I shouted.

A few heads turned to look, but I kept my attention on Logan's back as he sped up, making his way out of the cafeteria. I sighed. He was really going to make me chase him. I ran after him, ignoring the teacher monitoring the room's shout that there was no running. I looked both ways down the hall, before I saw him making his way towards the courtyard doors. I followed him through them, pausing only to quickly flash my school ID that branded me a senior at the teacher guarding the door before finally catching up and grabbing his arm to stop him.

"Let go of my arm, James," Logan said in a calm voice, but a look at his face showed how upset he was.

How did this get so out of control? I had just wanted to know what was bothering him so I could try to make it better, but all I ended up doing was making it worse and now Logan was mad at me. I let go of his arm and Logan started walking again, this time at a slower pace. Maybe that was a sign that he appreciated me coming after him and he would listen to my apology.

"Logie, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean what I said and I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I just didn't understand why you wouldn't tell me what was wrong because you usually tell me everything so I decided to be a jerk and say something stupid, which was a bad idea. I was wrong and I should've just left it alone. Just please, Logie, will you forgive me?"

The entire time we hadn't stopped walking the path that led to the side of the school facing the parking lot, but now Logan stopped as we reached the end of the sidewalk and I copied his movements. He stood there watching a few kids who had went out for lunch return through the doors a few feet away before he turned to face me.

"It's alright, James. I can never stay mad at you for very long."

I breathed out in relief before wrapping my arms around him in a hug, smiling widely. He was slow to return it, but once he had I felt much more certain that our friendship was still intact. But me and Logan have been through worse and still stuck together, so why I was so afraid that this would be the thing to end it, I don't know. Oh, right. Maybe it was the whole trying to ask me out thing.

Being reminded of that little issue, I pulled back.

"So… do you still want to ask me out?" I asked, getting right to the point.

Logan's cheeks flamed red. He's so cute when he blushes.

"Oh… umm…" he began, looking away and fiddling with the rope things hanging at the ends of the shoulder straps of his backpack.

I decided to take control because I think if I left it to Logan it'd be a while before he finally said it. I pulled one of his hands away and held it, making him look up at me, a bit surprised.

"Look, Logan, I really like you, and I have for a long time. So if you want to go out with me, we can. I don't know if you meant just a date or… something more, but I'm definitely game for either one," I told him, giving a flirtatious grin.

Logan stared at me for a moment, his heart in his eyes, and for a second I wondered if that was how he had always looked at me and if so, how come I had never noticed before? A smile broke out on his face, cheeks dimpling in the way I loved so much.

"So you're saying you'd want to be my boyfriend?" he asked in awe.

I smiled again, lightly poking the dimple in his left cheek. "Yeah… that is if you want me to be," I added, hoping he'd say yes.

His smile grew as his gaze fell to our hands before he laced our fingers together. He looked back up at me and I honestly think that this is the happiest I've ever seen him look.

"Definitely. I've never wanted to be with anyone as much as I want to be with you," he confessed and my heart melted.

I took half a step forward, bringing us closer before intertwining our free hands together as well.

"So… It's official. You're my boyfriend," I stated more than asked.

Logan nodded anyway, that beautiful smile still on his face.

"Yep. And you're _my_ boyfriend." Logan shook his head in disbelief. "This is crazy. I never believed that you could ever want me," he said softly.

I frowned slightly, but it quickly smoothed away. As much as that sounded like Logan was putting himself down, I've always felt exactly the same way. It's the most amazing thing knowing he likes me just as much as I like him. And it's a dream come true knowing that I can finally call him mine.

"Well believe it," I commanded gently, raising a hand up to cup his cheek. It's great to be able to touch him like this without it seeming weird. "You're the only one I want, and I'm so glad that I finally have you."

The look in Logan's eyes had my chest tingling with all these deep feelings, and I couldn't help but to drop my gaze to stare at his perfect, pink lips, dying to kiss him. But I had heard somewhere – maybe from my mom or someone – that you shouldn't kiss someone when you first start dating, that you're supposed to wait a few days. I've kissed a lot of girls, but I never dated any of them so I've never really had to follow this rule before. Now, with the temptation to kiss the lips I've been waiting years to taste pressing down on me, I thought that maybe that was a really stupid rule. Whoever came up with it had obviously never had lips as tempting as Logan's in their lame love life.

Just when I had decided to go ahead and kiss him anyway, the bell signaling the end of lunch rang, making us aware of our surroundings again and Logan stepped back. Damn.

"We should get to class. Walk with me?" Logan requested with a smile.

"Of course. Don't I always?" I pointed out.

Logan laughed lightly, turning to the parking lot doors which entered into the language hall, loosening his hold on my hand as if he was about to let go, but I quickly tightened my grip, making sure he didn't. He looked at me briefly before leading me through the doors to begin our long walk to our classes, which were literally on the other side of the school. I kinda wish this was an odd day because then we would both be going to our shared Government class and then we could… I guess do the same thing we always do in that class, except more romantically. Instead I'm going to my Drama class while he has Team Sports with Kendall. At our school, our schedules are split so that we had periods 1, 3, 5, and 7 one day and periods 2, 4, 6, and 8 the next day. I thought it was dumb at first since that means our classes are longer, but then I realized we get an extra day to do homework since we only have each class every other day.

People stared and whispered as me and Logan walked down the main hallway hand in hand, but I didn't care. Let them talk. Let the haters hate, see all the fucks I give. I could tell that it made Logan kind of nervous since he wasn't the most popular guy anyway, so I squeezed his hand to show him I would stay strong for the both of us. I wasn't ashamed. I wanted everyone to know that Logan was off the market and that he was mine.

We passed Carlos who was heading the way we came from to his Spanish class, which he thought would be an easy A, but his D said otherwise.

"Whoa, holding hands. Oh my gosh, you guys are finally together!" Carlos shouted excitedly, drawing more stares.

"Yeah." No need to say more.

"Wow. Well try not to rape each other in the showers after hockey practice tonight," he threw over his shoulder, laughing as he walked away.

That's nice. Logan's face turned red and I heard him mutter "I gotta get new friends" under his breath. He's pretty cute when he's embarrassed. Logan avoided looking at anyone directly the entire time it took us to walk the rest of the way down main hall, turn down the hall across from the front office and then stop at the T-intersection in front of the library where we parted ways. The gym was straight ahead while the drama class room was down the fine arts hall to our right. This was my chance to take a second shot at our first kiss. I started to lean in but Logan only wrapped his arms around me for a hug that he didn't even give me time to return before he let go.

"See you later, Jamie."

And then he was walking away, smiling back at me over his shoulder.

"Bye, Logan."

I sighed, watching him walk a few more feet before turning down the hall and heading to class.

**Please review and tell me what you think! And thanks for reading (:**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: So, here's another chapter. (: I wanna thank **_**Scarlett**_**, **_**0809m**_**, and **_**Stallion8426**_** for your reviews! They always make me happy. Anyway, on with the story!**

**Chapter 2**

**Logan's POV**

This is the greatest day of my life. I don't know what I expected to happen when I planned on asking James out earlier, but I honestly didn't think that by the end of lunch he would be my boyfriend. It's almost like a dream, but in none of my fantasies about how James and I would become a couple does it start with a fight. It's usually something like falling onto each other during practice and staring into each others eyes and just _knowing_ or James suddenly confessing his love for me while we're hanging out. Things that girls fantasize about and nothing I would admit to out loud, that's for sure.

I entered the locker room and found mine next to a changing Kendall. As his head appeared through the top of his gym shirt, his eyes landed on me and he grinned knowingly.

"So, when's the date?" he asked as I quickly spun the combination on my lock, opening the small locker.

"Um, no date," I informed him, purposely leaving out the rest.

"Liar. You must have asked him out. Why else would you both leave for the entire lunch period and then you show up here looking like you won the lottery?" Kendall said with a smirk.

I pulled my shirt off, swapping it for the plain white t-shirt from my locker.

"But I didn't ask him out." Kendall looked like he was about to protest but I kept speaking. "Technically, _James_ asked _me_ out. And there's no date because we were too busy calling each other _boyfriend_ to make one," I said, grinning ear to ear as I kicked off my jeans and grabbed my black basketball shorts.

Kendall froze, looking up from his task of re-tying his shoe strings on the bench between the locker rows.

"Seriously? You guys are a couple now? That's awesome, I'm so happy for you, Logan," he told me with a smile, standing up to pat me on the back.

"Thanks. But I think I'm gonna ask him on a date later anyway. You know, like to the movies or something. Aren't couples supposed to go on dates, too?" I inquired, not certain.

I sat down on the bench to put my shoes back on as Kendall packed his stuff into his locker and snapped the lock closed.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I mean, girls always like guys to take them out and stuff. They like romance. I don't know too much about guys dating guys, though. I guess you and James gotta figure that out on your own, bro," he said apologetically.

I checked my lock to make sure it was secure before heading towards the gym with Kendall beside me.

"I can only hope."

***F.F.R.***

I nervously fixed my hair and checked my appearance in the mirror one last time, still unsure about my outfit. I had layered my white long-sleeved v-neck over a red one since it's kind of cold out, paired with my light grey skinny jeans and red converse. For a moment I considered changing, but then I heard a knock on the front door downstairs. Oh, well, James was here and it was too late to change now. I quickly made sure I had my phone, house key and wallet before grabbing the varsity jacket hanging over my desk chair and heading downstairs.

James had been surprisingly eager for this date when I asked him about it yesterday after practice. He had wanted to do it then, but I told him I'd rather wait until today since it was Saturday and I could get all my homework out of the way first.

I opened the front door to reveal a smiling James and I immediately returned it.

"Hi."

"Hey," he replied, letting his eyes travel over me and I did the same.

He looked amazing as always. He wore a navy blue sleeveless hoodie open over his lucky white v-neck, straight legged jeans and black Chucks topped off with his favorite leather jacket. I felt relief settle on my chest when I realized that he liked my outfit just as much as I liked his. We grinned at each other and I turned to yell at my parents that I was leaving before closing the door behind me and following James to his car. Even though it made me feel like a girl, I still smiled appreciatively at him when he opened the passenger door of the sleek black Charger for me. His dad had bought it for him before school started and I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be a birthday present, but I think Mr. Diamond forgot so he gave it to him as a senior year gift instead. I got in and he closed the door behind me as I buckled my seatbelt.

Thinking about his dad made me think of something else. I'm pretty sure he hadn't told either his mom or dad that we were dating yet, and I didn't expect that he would for a while. They had never seemed exactly homophobic to me, but I don't think that they would be happy with a gay son. I had flat out told my parents about James and I's relationship yesterday at dinner. I was kind of nervous, but they had been really supportive. It feels good to know I can trust my parents to be there for me through anything, which makes me extremely lucky. I know that not every gay teenager can count on their parents to take the news as well as mine did, including James.

I pulled myself out of my thoughts enough to notice James climb into the driver's side and smile at me as he clicked his seatbelt into place before starting the car. I returned his smile, repositioning my own seatbelt to make it comfortable for the short drive to the movie theater. We didn't talk, but that was nothing new. James liked to turn the radio on low and sing along with it without interruptions, and the guys and I had gotten used to not speaking to James unless there was nothing but commercials on. I didn't mind. I loved hearing James sing, loved hearing his amazing voice. One of these days, it'll be his own voice on the radio that he'll sing along with, I'm absolutely sure of it.

Before long, James was cruising into a parking space in front of the Old Town Theatre. This was the theater that mostly parents and old people went to, but we had always liked it because at this one you could have dinner and a movie at the same time. Like, they had a whole restaurant menu along with the regular popcorn, candy and soda that you get at the other movie theaters in town. The food was pretty decent too, and that didn't hurt.

We got out of the car and James pressed the lock button on his keychain, causing the 'beep' noise to sound that let us know the alarm was on, before coming around to meet me at the end of the car. He offered his hand and I took it, smiling up at him. I was noticing that we were smiling at each other a lot now. We walked to the entrance, deciding to get our tickets inside instead of at the front window. A pretty blonde who looked about our age was at the ticket counter, and her face lit up with interest the moment she saw James. I was used to this, but now that we were a couple, it was a lot more annoying.

"Hello, how can I help you?" the girl asked, her eyes never leaving James.

I tried not to glare at her because I'm certain she didn't realize we were more than friends and that James was unavailable. I subtly shifted closer to him, hoping she would take the hint.

"Hmm. We should have figured out what we wanted to see before we came, huh Logie?" James said looking over at me with a chagrined smile.

"Yeah, I guess so… You pick something, it doesn't really matter to me… babe," I added as an afterthought, watching Laci, as her nametag said she was, for a reaction.

Her eyes widened almost imperceptibly and a slightly disappointed expression flashed over her face before she quickly checked herself and placed a phony smile on her lips. I felt a moment's sympathy for the girl, but James was taken and it just wouldn't do for her to get any ideas. I then noticed that Laci wasn't the only one who reacted to the pet name. James had turned to me with a bright smile, adoration in his eyes. It a sent a fluttering in my chest and I readily returned it with one equally as affectionate. I suddenly felt silly as I realized I needn't have worried about Ticket Girl. No matter how much charm or flirt she might have put into any invitation she issued, I had as much of a hold over James' heart as he had over mine, so there was zero percent chance that he would have accepted.

James turned back to the banner over the counter and his eyes scanned over the movie titles, but none of them seemed to stand out to him.

"How about you just give us two adults for anything romantic and funny, please," James told the girl, smiling apologetically.

"Sure," she said half-heartedly.

As she printed off the tickets, I reached for my wallet and saw James do the same.

"James, I've got it," I assured him with a smile.

He frowned. I internally sighed, expecting this would happen. We've always been drilled by the women in our lives to be chivalrous and pay for dates as a gentleman should. But that was when it came to girls, and we were two guys on a date. I had thought about this before, as well as a solution, which I quickly shared with him.

"I know you think you should pay for everything, but I feel the same way. It's how we were raised. So I think we should take turns paying for things, or even pay separately if it makes you feel less like a girl," I teased lightly, grinning.

He tried to look offended, but didn't really succeed as a smile appeared on his face.

"Makes sense. Alright, but I'm paying for the food," he informed me as I handed the money to the girl and took our tickets without looking at the title; it didn't really matter.

"Thank you," I said politely before following James to our theater.

Luckily our favorite seats were open at the very top of the theater, right in the middle. The movie didn't start for another ten minutes and there were only a few people scattered around lower down. After we sat down, we pressed the call button between our seats and waited for someone to come take our orders. A guy came a few moments later and we ordered the usual; a small popcorn, Sour Patch Kids, Peanut M&Ms, two large sodas, a Texas toast bacon cheeseburger and fries for me, and a Caesar salad for James. We watched a few previews, and right before the movie started, the guy came back with our food. We raised the trays attached to the sides of our chairs and thanked him as he placed the food in front of us. James paid him and the movie started.

**James' POV**

This was by far the best movie date ever. I hardly paid attention to what was happening on the screen. I basically ate and snuck glances at Logan the whole time. He looked so cute as he tried to concentrate on the movie, but I could tell he was no more interested in it than I was. After we finished our actual meals, we shared the candy and small popcorn. I'm surprised Logan ate as much as he did; he usually complained about how unhealthy our 'movie theater food binge' was.

Halfway through the movie, I figured it was a good enough time to physically acknowledge that this was a date, so I casually draped my arm around his shoulder. Luckily, he didn't pull away, only seeming slightly surprised before he smiled at me and relaxed into my hold. That's how we sat for the rest of the movie that I paid absolutely no attention to. It was a waste of money, but I didn't really care because I was with Logan on our first date, and I was much more interested in watching him.

When it was over, we threw our trash away and walked out of the theater and back to my car, hand in hand. I unlocked the doors and went to open the passenger side for Logan again, but he beat me to it, looking back at me with laughter in his eyes. Okay, then. I went around to my side and got in, buckling my seat belt. I turned my key, bringing the car to life and began singing along with the radio as I backed out of the parking spot. I took my time driving back to his house, not really wanting the night to end.

Sooner than I would've liked, I was parking at the curb in front of his house. We both sat there for a minute, silently staring at his front door. And then he turned to me and spoke, admittedly surprising me with his words.

"You know, it's not that late. Why don't you come in for a while? We can just hang out in my room and play video games or something. If you want," he offered hesitantly.

I smiled at him before turning of the engine.

"Yeah, sure."

I followed him up the walk and into the house. Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell were sitting in the living room watching TV and looked up, smiling as they saw us enter the house.

"Hello, boys. I trust you had a nice evening?" Mr. Mitchell said.

"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell. We had a great time," I assured them with a smile.

"Hey Mom, Dad. Yeah, it was nice. James and I are just gonna go play some video games in my room for little while. We won't be on too late, I promise," Logan informed his parents.

His mom gave us a pointed look. "Keep the door open, Logan, please."

His cheeks turned red and I'm sure mine were just as bright.

"Mom! We _just_ started going out. It's not like we're going to _do_ anything," he defended, embarrassed.

"I would hope not. But just to be safe," Mrs. Mitchell said.

"Fine. Whatever," he sighed, and we headed upstairs to his room.

Door open, we kicked off our shoes and took off our jackets.

"Zombies? Or do you want to play something else?" he asked as he went towards the TV and game console set up on the small bookshelf against one wall.

"Zombies is cool."

I dropped onto the beanbag chair already pulled out of the corner in front of the TV and he tossed me a controller before starting the game. He moved to get the other beanbag chair from the corner, but I quickly shot out my arm to grab his wrist and yanked him down to plop onto my lap.

"James!" he exclaimed in surprise. "What'd you do that for?"

I grinned, locking my arm around his waist as he tried to get up before adjusting his position on my lap so that we could both easily maneuver our controllers and see the TV.

"Relax, babe. Just thought I'd save you the trouble of getting the other chair by sharing mine. Plus, I like you better here," I reasoned.

I saw the corners of his mouth twitch before he turned his head to hide his smile.

"You could've just asked," he said, trying to sound annoyed.

"Sorry," I apologized, not sorry at all.

He pressed start and we got lost in the game. Before we knew it, his mom was sticking her head into the room a little after ten to tell us they were going to bed but she trusted us to behave ourselves if I planned on staying a bit longer. I sighed regretfully and set my controller down.

"Thanks, Mrs. Mitchell, but I think I'm gonna go," I said, helping Logan up off of my lap.

As much as it seemed like my mom paid more attention to her company than to me, she got upset if I wasn't home by 10:30 and didn't call if I was going to be late or stay with Logan, Carlos or Kendall.

"Okay. Good night, boys," she called as she walked down the hall to her room.

Logan turned off the game system and put up the controllers before sitting down on the end of his bed. He looked as reluctant to end the night as I felt. I grabbed my jacket and sat next to him without putting it on. He looked at me and my attention fell on his pink lips that looked so kissable. Maybe now I would finally be able to do just that. Should I just go in for it? A slow approach to give him a heads up? I've never been so nervous and at a loss on how to kiss someone in my whole life. Maybe I'll go for subtle and flirty.

"Oh, no. My lips seem to be a bit chapped and I don't have my chap stick. But, wow, Logan, you're lips look pretty moist. Why don't you put yours on mine and help me out?" I asked, grinning cheekily.

Logan looked at me blankly for a moment as if he was unsure if I was serious or not before he laughed, rolling his eyes at me. And then he did the one thing I've been waiting for since I realized that my feelings for him were more than just friendly. He kissed me. And it was just as perfect and mind blowing as I had imagined it would be. I smiled against his lips, placing the palms of my hands against his cheeks to hold him to me. His mouth on mine was the softest, most beautiful thing I had ever felt. He pulled away sooner than I would have liked, leaving me breathless and wanting more.

The smile on his perfect lips was pure brilliance, those gorgeous dimples deepening. How is it possible for someone to be so beautiful? I know that I hold the title as the hottest guy in school, but it really should go to Logan. I've got the looks and charm, but not much else. Logan on the other hand, is damn near perfect. Contrary to what most people think, he's not your typical nerd. Sure, he's extremely smart, but he also has a great sense of humor, he cares more than the average person, is a great athlete, and is sexy as hell.

"Wow," he breathed.

"Yeah," I let out in agreement.

We sat there staring at each other a little while longer and then Logan cleared his throat, dragging us both out of the spell.

"You should probably get going…"

"Yeah," I repeated, not really wanting to move, but I forced myself into action anyway.

I stood up and put on the forgotten leather jacket that had rested in my lap. I moved to the door to retrieve my shoes and Logan stood up as well. Shoes in place, I turned back to him and he motioned for me to head downstairs as he made to follow me. We reached the front door and I pulled him into my arms, hugging him tight to my chest. I smiled as I let go, looking down at him.

"This was a really awesome night, Logan. Especially that last part."

He ducked his head for a second before looking up at me, grinning.

"Yeah, it was. Um… you can come over again tomorrow and we can… you know, hang out some more," he offered, his cheeks flushing a light pink.

My smile widened. "Okay. How about I come at 11:30 and we can go get lunch before coming back here?" I suggested.

"That sounds amazing," he said.

"Alright… bye, Logie," I said, reaching for the door knob.

"Bye, Jamie."

I quickly leaned in and placed a peck on his lips, grinning as I opened the door and walked out. As I reached the driver side door, I looked back to see him still standing at the door, watching me go with a small smile on his face. I waved slightly, getting into my car. The giddy feeling in my chest and the smile on my lips never left the entire drive home.

**A/N: A little note. I think I'm gonna change the rating when I post the next chapter because I'm pretty sure it'll be mature. Please review, and thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Here's another chapter. I decided not to do the rating change after all. Thanks to **_**Fangfan1**_** and **_**0809m**_** for your reviews!**

**Chapter 3**

**6 Months Later**

**Logan's POV**

Now, normally I was a very apt pupil, listening to every word the teacher said. But I'd have to bet I wasn't the only person in class tuning out our AP Physics teacher as he droned on about the rules and etiquette of life in the "real world" or something like that. I was too busy impatiently staring at the clock, waiting for it to hit 11:15, the end of this class and the end of my high school career.

_Three more minutes._

As much as I love learning, I have to say I've really enjoyed the particular benefit of senior year where you get to drop half your classes during second semester. James and I took the easy approach, simply cutting our schedules in half and only keeping our first four periods. Kendall and his guidance counselor had to do some rearranging so he got out of school the same time we did, which was right before lunch started. But Carlos had an entirely different schedule than us three. He had decided to drop his first two and his last two periods so that every day he started school an hour and a half later than us, but he didn't get out of school until 1:30. He quickly grew to hate the arrangement, as he usually missed out on a lot of things that the rest of us did while he was in class.

_One more minute._

But now he didn't have to worry anymore, because today was the last day of school for seniors. We had less than two weeks until graduation, and I was extremely proud of myself, my friends and boyfriend that we had made it to this point. It also happened to be James and I's six month anniversary and I couldn't wait to get out of here so we could spend the rest of the day together.

Finally, the bell rang, and I darted out of my seat and raced a few other eager seniors to the door. I speed walked down the hall and entered the flow of students going both ways down the main hallway. I turned left, heading towards the foyer by the parking lot doors to wait for James and Kendall. I always got there first because their classes were further away.

I noticed some people laughing and looking back behind them down the main hallway. I started to wonder what was going on, but I soon got my answer. Distant shouting caught my attention and I tried to make out the words as whoever it was grew closer.

"Woo! We are out of here! Everyone, it's been amazing! I know you all are gonna miss my gorgeous face, but don't worry! It'll be on TV and all over your favorite magazines in no time!"

By now I had figured out that the person shouting was James. My suspicions were proven true as he appeared through the sea of people on Kendall's back, who could barely breathe from the combination of running while holding James and from laughing so hard. James grinned wildly, cheeks flushed in excitement as Kendall let him down beside me, but I just shook my head, biting back a grin of my own. He looked so adorable.

"You guys are idiots. I really gotta get new friends," I said in pretend exasperation.

"But not a new boyfriend, right? Cause I'd hate to have to dump you on our six monthaversary," James joked, handing Kendall his backpack which he had been carrying on his back along with his own during the piggy back ride before wrapping his arm around my shoulders as the three of us made our way outside.

"Okay, first, 'monthaversary' is not a word. And second, why do you assume you'd be the one doing the dumping?" I asked.

"Oh, Logie, you're so cute when you ask dumb questions." I glared at him but he ignored me. "Obviously I would be dumping you because James Diamond does _not_ get dumped. Ever. Logan, you know this, I told you about my perfect no-dumping record a long time ago."

I hummed thoughtfully. "What if I told you right this minute that I was breaking up with you? What would you do?"

Kendall laughed, interrupting before James could respond. "Oh man! I really wish I could hear the rest of this conversation, but I gotta get to work. You guys have fun," he told us as he pulled out his keys and walked up to the beat up old pickup truck that he paid for by scrimping every penny of what was left of his meager paychecks after he gave the majority of it to his mom.

"Yeah, see you later Kendall," I said.

I turned to continue to James's car a few spaces away but only took a few steps before I realized that James wasn't following. I gave him a questioning look as I took in his pale complexion. Kendall's truck roared to life and he waved as he drove past. I returned it, but James still hadn't moved. I sighed, walking back over to him.

"You know I was just joking, right? I would never break up with you, and not just because I respect your 'perfect no dumping record' or whatever. It's because I love you too much to break up with you," I told him softly, reaching up to touch his cheek.

His eyes sparked and his lips curved up at my admission. It wasn't the first time I had told him I loved him, but it _was_ only the fourth. It had been so nerve-wracking the first time that I almost didn't want to attempt it again, but it made James so happy, I had to. And it actually got easier every time. Maybe I'll try saying it more often.

"I love you, too. And please don't joke like that _ever_ again," he commanded with a shaky quirk of his lips.

"I won't. Promise."

His smile became more firm on his lips, and then they were on mine. I eagerly returned the kiss, resting against his chest as he pulled my hips into his. My heart leaped in my chest at the thought of how much what I had said had affected him. It never seemed entirely real whenever he showed me how much he cared or when he said it. And it still didn't make much sense to me _why_ James would care. He could do so much better than nerdy Logan Mitchell, but he chose me anyway.

I pulled away from his lips, but not before giving them a last little peck.

"So... Can I drive?" I asked hopefully.

He laughed and grabbed my hand leading me over to his car without answering. He stopped me when we reached the back end and I stared at him expectantly as he pulled his keys from his pocket. Very slowly he raised my hand before dropping the keys onto it. My smile practically split my face in half and I struggled to keep myself from jumping up and down in happiness. James never let anyone but himself drive his car, and even though he said no every time, I still asked. So I think I have the right to be excited about the fact that he finally said yes.

"But only cause it's our six monthaversary," he reasoned, a smirk on his face.

I didn't comment on his use of that nonexistent word, opting instead to throw my arms around his neck and plastering an enthusiastic kiss on his beautiful, sweet mouth.

"Thank you Jamie!"

I giddily unlocked the doors and basically ran to the driver's side door, almost yanking it open in my excitement. I threw my backpack onto the backseat and closed the door as I got situated and adjusted the seat seeing as James was taller than me. My seatbelt was snapped into place and all the mirrors checked before James made his way into the passenger seat and I flicked an impatient glance in his direction. I put the key in the ignition and turned it on while he was putting his seatbelt on, trying to calm my excitement a bit. An eager driver made for an inattentive driver. But it was better than being nervous, like James seemed to be.

"Relax, babe, I won't crash your car," I assured him.

"Says you. You don't even have a car and you've barely driven a day in your life."

"Hey, it's not my fault my parents are paranoid. And I passed my driver's test didn't I?" I said defensively.

"Well, yeah, but –"

"James, it's okay. I promise to be extra careful with your baby," I teased and he sighed. "Now where do you wanna go? I didn't really plan anything for today passed spending it with you," I admitted.

"Um, we could go to my house. My mom's not there; she's on a business trip until Sunday," he informed me, giving me an uncertain glance as if he didn't know how I would take this information.

I took a moment to mull over that, and what could happen if we had an empty house to ourselves with no threat of being interrupted. I was pretty sure I knew what he was thinking, and I felt a different kind of excitement bubble in the pit of my stomach tinged with the slightest bit of nervousness. James and I hadn't went any further than mutual handjobs during a heated makeout session once one evening after his mom called to tell him that she would be working late and to order pizza or something for dinner, and we hadn't done a whole lot before or since then. I wanted to, though. I had never felt about anyone the way I felt about James, and it only seemed natural to want to share all of me with him.

"Yeah, that sounds cool," I agreed, giving him a smile, which he returned.

I shifted the gear into reverse and slowly backed up, making sure not to hit anyone walking behind us. While we were sitting in the line out of the parking lot, a thought came to me.

"Oh, I wanna stop at my house on the way. I forgot to grab your present this morning," I told him apologetically.

"That's okay, go ahead. Your present's at my house too," he said, drumming his hands on his thighs.

I nodded in reply, pondering on what it might be. Probably a book. My present for him was something a little more elaborate, and pretty expensive, but it was for me too. I hadn't told Kendall or Carlos about it because I couldn't risk either of them letting it slip to James and I really wanted it to be a surprise.

After the five minute crawl out of the parking lot, it another five minutes to reach my house. I took my backpack to conceal the gift and the car keys just in case he decided to try to switch me spots. I knew he could anyway, but at least this way I could put up more of a fight. My parents weren't home yet and wouldn't be for a few hours so I didn't have to worry about them asking questions. I quickly ran up to my room, grabbed his present from my desk drawer, and hurried back downstairs, making sure to relock the door on my way out. James had stayed in the passenger seat and I smiled as I got back behind the wheel. He was singing along to the radio and I enjoyed the sound of his voice on the way to his house.

I carefully parked in the driveway and handed James the keys after I shut the car off. He grinned at me and we both grabbed our backpacks before getting out. He locked it up, the brief beep sounding the alarm.

"Thanks for not wrecking her," he said as I followed him to the front door and I rolled my eyes.

The house was quiet and impeccably decorated in mostly white with black accents. The living room was rarely used for actual living and lacked warmth and comfort, but we had all grown accustomed to how different James's house was from the rest of ours.

"You want something to eat? Violet went shopping Monday so there's plenty of food," he offered, stopping at the edge of the kitchen.

I nodded and put my backpack on the floor next to the breakfast bar. The kitchen seemed overly industrial seeing as it was used only about 2 times for real cooking, if that. Mrs. Diamond cooked dinner when she could, but most nights she was too busy.

"Maybe just a small snack. Where's the toaster again?"

He shook his head. "I don't get why you like toast so much. My weird little Logie-bear," he cooed, leaning to peck my lips.

I gave a short chuckle and childishly stuck my tongue out at him while he retrieved the toaster from a lower cabinet. I don't know why it was stowed away when they had so much counter space, but I didn't comment. I sat down on a stool and watched him do all the work. He pulled the bread from the cool little breadbox on the counter and stuck two pieces in the toaster for me. I picked up an apple from the fruit bowl in front of me and started playing with it as he grabbed two glasses out of the cabinet and some orange juice out of the fridge. He filled them both and nodded for me to take one before returning the juice carton to its previous place, grabbing a small container of spreadable butter while he was there.

My toast popped up and I got up before he could get it. He was doing too much for me.

"Thanks, I got it." I said with a small smile, grabbing a small saucer from another cabinet and putting the toast on it. "Aren't you going to get anything?" I asked him as I searched the drawers for a butter knife before returning to my stool.

"Nah, just the juice."

Well, now I felt weird. I've known James half my life and he sees me eat all the time so I wasn't really self-conscious. It was just that I've only eaten in his house maybe five times within all that time, and always with other people. It was awkward when you were the only one eating, let alone in someone else's unfamiliar kitchen – even if it did belong to your best friend/boyfriend.

I ate my toast as quickly and in the least awkward manner as I could manage, sipping my orange juice in between bites. When I was finished, I set my dishes in the sink and placed the butter back in the fridge. James's glass joined mine and he turned to me.

"Why don't we go up to my room and we can give each other our presents," he suggested and I nodded before we grabbed our stuff and headed up to his room.

**James's POV**

My backpack hit the floor as soon as we made it passed the threshold and I closed the door even though we were the only ones here. I kicked off my shoes and Logan did the same before he went to sit on the edge of my bed, his backpack resting by his feet. I nervously stepped over to my top dresser drawer, where I had hid his present. It had taken forever for me to pick it out. Finding the small box, I closed the drawer and walked over to join Logan on the bed.

"Okay. Um, before I give you your present, I just wanna tell you that you mean so much to me. I can't imagine what my life would've been like had you not moved to Minnesota all those years ago in third grade or if you hadn't the shy, nerdy pushover that did my homework for me." I paused, a grin spreading over both of our faces. "You've been my best friend for what seems like forever, and I've loved you for almost just as long. I've never felt the way about anyone in my entire life the way I feel for you and that'll never change." I looked down unwrapping my fingers to reveal the tiny ring box in the palm of my hand and heard him breathe in sharply. "I've given this a lot of thought and there's no else I'd rather spend the rest of my life with than you."

I opened the box to reveal a white and black diamond on silver ring. In the center were nine small square diamonds making up a larger one, edged with black diamond clusters laid in silver, turned to appear more in a diamond shape. Engraved on the inside of the band was '_LPM + JDD Forever'_; sort of clichéd but straight from the heart. When I first started looking for a ring, all the diamonds seemed too girly for Logan to actually wear, but then I discovered black diamonds, and they looked a bit manlier. I had seen this one and knew I had to get it, even if it was almost $1,200. I took it out of the box and looked up at Logan whose face had gone a bit red. He looked like he might be having a hard time swallowing and his eyes swam with emotions that were too mixed for me to make out.

"This doesn't necessarily have to be a proposal," I continued. "Think of this as a promise that I'll never leave you. A promise that no matter what, we'll always be together." Once again, I paused and waited for him to meet my eyes. "Do you accept that, Logan?"

I held my breath, waiting for his reply. Slowly he nodded his head and croaked out a "yes."

The air whooshed from my lungs in a great sigh of relief. I don't know why I had this fear that he would say no. I grinned like an idiot as he held out his hand and I slipped the ring on his finger. As soon as it was in place, my lips were on his pouring all of my happiness into a lingering kiss.

Logan has a habit of ending kisses way sooner than he should, and true to form, he tried to this time. Expecting it though, as soon as I felt him pulling away, I grabbed his sexy face and pulled it right back. He let out a short laugh of surprise, then relented. I grinned in triumph as he settled against me for a lengthier kiss.

It was me who pulled away this time.

"So, what'd you get me?" I asked with excitement apparent in my voice.

Logan's face turned red, his eyes falling to the ring. He fidgeted with it a bit, his expression becoming slightly guilty. I started to worry that he didn't actually get me anything but just said he did.

"You have it, don't you? We _did_ stop at your house for it," I reminded.

"Yeah, yeah, it's in my backpa-"

Before he finished the sentence, I snatched his bag from the floor nearby and opened it faster than if it was brand new jar of 'Cuda styling gel. But all I could find were books, papers, a few pencils and pens, and a pack of gum. Please don't tell me he got me a book... or the _pack of gum_!

"Logan?" I looked over at him questioningly, but he wouldn't meet my eyes.

"James, I'm sorry, it's no where near as good as this ring cause it's so beautiful and it must've cost so much, I mean really, who told you to spend so much on a ring, especially for me because I'm obviously the worst boyfriend in the entire wo-"

"Logan! Baby, just stop," I interrupted his rambling, seeing he was getting himself upset. "It's okay, Logie. I love gum! And you know, if my eyes get tired, you can always read the book for me," I reassured him, pecking his cheek.

But I was not reassured by his lost facial expression.

"... What? I didn't get you gum. Or a book. Didn't you see it? I mean really, why would I get you _gum?_ Do think I would actually do that?"

"Err..." I started at a loss for words. "No, I didn't, but I don't see anything else so I was just taking a shot in dark."

Now I was confused too. Logan glared at me, jerking the backpack from my hands before reaching inside of it. Five seconds of searching produced an envelope that I hadn't noticed before with all his papers. So a card then. I can deal with that.

"Oh. Well, thanks babe," I said, trying to sound enthusiastic as took it from his hands.

'_For My Boo'_ was written on the front and I laughed at the sight, looking up at Logan to see him crack a small grin before he looked away. I lifted the flap and turned it upside down in my attempt to take out what I expected to be a card, but was surprised when a key fell out onto my lap before I could reach my hand in.

"Logie, did you lose a key?" I asked, giving him a quizzical glance.

He was fidgeting again. "Um, no. It's part of your present. Look in the envelope again," he instructed, not giving anything else away.

What the hell does the key go to? I returned my attention to the mysterious envelope and finally pulled out what it contained, which wasn't a card. It was two plane tickets to Los Angeles.

"Oh my gosh! Are we going on vacation? Logan, this is way better than the ring, what were you even talking about! This is gonna be so awesome!"

I grabbed him in an excited embrace and pecked his lips repeatedly. Then I noticed that his cheeks were red again and he still wasn't meeting my eyes.

"What is it? It has to do with the key, right? Damn, Logie, I feel bad I just got you the ring! I bet it's the best present anyone has ever gotten," I gushed, ready to find out what it was.

"Um, here's the thing. I know we had decided to all go to the University of Minnesota together and play hockey while I work on getting into medical school, but I also know that's not what you really want to do. I mean, we all love hockey, but music is your passion. You say that you don't mind waiting until an opportunity comes to Minnesota, but what if nothing ever does? That's why I made you apply to all those schools in California, even though we didn't plan on going. But I talked to my parents and they talked to yours, and my mom being a real estate agent found this little house that's not too far from the UCLA campus and our parents all pitched in and bought it for us. That's our house key, if you hadn't already guessed. I think LA is the perfect place to go because I can still fulfill my dream of being a doctor, but you can fulfill your dream too. I just figured it'll be much easier for you to be discovered in Hollywood than here Minnesota. I bought the tickets now, but they're dated for July so we have plenty of time to cash them in or exchange them if you don't want to do this," Logan finished.

I didn't know what to say. That had to be the most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for me. The fact that he did all of that just so I might get a better chance to become a singer like I've always wanted made me love him even more. It surprised me that he got my parents to help, too. When they learned about me and Logan's relationship, they were a bit more accepting than I expected, but it wasn't as great as Logan's parents' reactions. My dad told me he was okay with it, but I've barely spoken to him in the last five months, and my mom was mad for a few weeks, then decided that she was gonna pretend that Logan was still just my friend. I don't know what to make of the fact that they helped pay for a house that we would live in together. The more I thought about it, the more excited I got. Just me and Logan, living out our dreams. Together through it all.

"Thank you so much Logan. This is the most amazing thing anyone could have ever done for me. I love you so much, and I can't wait to live with you and to have you as my arm candy on the red carpet at award shows. And I'll always be sure to thank you in my acceptance speeches," I teased.

We both laughed and he flashed his perfect dimples at me, obviously glad and relieved that I liked his present. How could I not, though? I just can't get over how awesome it is. I stared back down at the plane tickets, memorizing the details. I'm going to LA. I'm going to Hollywood. This gorgeous boy had made what I had secretly thought impossible, possible. I placed the plane tickets and the key back in the envelope before getting up and putting in my bedside drawer. I went back to perch next to Logan and grinned as I wrapped my arm around his waist.

"So… Now that that's out of the way…" I trailed off suggestively.

He laughed softly. "Shut up, James. Just kiss me."

**A/N: I probably did a bad job of describing the ring, so here's what it looks like: "www. gemologica images/Q1968-mens-black-diamond-rings-jewelry-black-diamond-ring .jpg" **

**So we're one step closer to figuring out how it all happened. Review and tell me what you think and if I should do the first time scene or not. Also, I'm gonna be posting a one-shot for Semi Official BTR One Shot Day on the 8****th****, so please be on the look out for it! Thanks for reading. (:**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm so sorry, I know it's been forever since I last updated. Twitter, Instagram, and reading other fanfics kinda distracted me. Typical fangirl. But this chapter is pretty long, so maybe that can make up for it? :D Anyway, we're getting closer to the present and to seeing the cause of the drama. The song James sings in this chapter is called Confetti by Tori Kelly. She is simply amazing and I suggest you go listen to it if you haven't before to get a feel on what it sounds like.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or it's characters. I also do not own the song Confetti which belongs to Tori Kelly.**

_**Two Years Later**_

**Logan's POV**

Ugh, who in the hell thought final exams were a good idea? I've never been so stressed in my life. I know that I'm supposed to be the smart one, but studying for these things were no joke. Final exams for my sophomore year were in two weeks and I wasn't so sure I was prepared. James was lucky he didn't have to go through this torturous process since he had dropped out after our first semester of freshmen year so he had more time to focus on his music. I wasn't positive that was the best decision, but I was here to support him through everything.

"Logan! Logan! Babe, where are you?" I heard followed by the front door slamming, interrupting my already shaky concentration.

"I'm in the room!" I called back.

Not three seconds later, James was standing in front of me looking as excited as Carlos in a room full of corndogs. I'm sure I would find out why in three, tw-

"You will not believe what I just found out! Guess! No, don't cause you'll never get it. Gustavo Rocque, as in of Rocque Records, is holding a talent search audition for the next big thing to be signed to his label all day tomorrow! Logie this could be my chance! No, scratch that, this _is_ my chance. I refuse to think otherwise. We've been in LA for 2 years, and I've sang for just about anyone who will listen, but I've never had the chance to get in front of a big time producer. I don't know what I'll do if I blow this audition. I wanna make it so bad," James said falling back onto our bed.

I got up from my desk chair and climbed onto the bed and straddled his waist.

"James, these things take time. This is a tough industry, but trust me, you are every bit as talented as all those stars on TV, and then some. If Gustavo doesn't see that tomorrow, oh well. Because I see it, and I know that someone else will too. No one said it would be easy, but it'll all work out eventually, I promise. You just gotta stay positive and take it one step at a time. And no matter what, I'll be with you, through every single one," I assured him before leaning down for a gentle kiss.

When it ended, James grinned up at me, affection alight in his eyes.

"Logie, you make me so happy. What would I ever do without you?" he asked, grabbing my left hand and toying with the ring that was always on my finger.

I smiled back at him, sitting up to rest on his lap.

"Either starve or get fat from fast food since you never bothered to learn how to cook. And whichever poor boy or girl who would be stuck with you instead would miss out on your amazing washboard abs," I teased, clapping my hand against his abdomen.

He laughed, making his faked expression of horror that much more unbelievable.

"Oh, no! It's a good thing I have you then, cause I'm positive I would die without the perfect abs I've worked so hard to obtain. But now that I think about it, I'm pretty hungry. Go cook something, please?" he begged, giving me puppy eyes.

I sighed. How could I resist that face?

"Alright," I said, rolling my eyes and getting up.

He reached over and smacked my butt and I gave him a look.

"I'm just thanking you babe," he said innocently.

"Mhmm."

He followed me out of our bedroom and plopped on the couch and turned the TV on while I headed to the kitchen. Thirty minutes later, we both had a plate of spaghetti in front of us. We ate in silence and we were both halfway finished when I noticed that James was staring at me.

"What? I don't have sauce on my face, do I?" I asked, reaching for my napkin.

"No, sorry, I'm just thinking. You know about tomorrow," he explained.

"Oh. I'll come with you, if that's what you were thinking about," I reassured him.

"I know," he stated, and went back to eating.

And he calls me weird. I shook my head and picked my fork back up.

"Then what's wrong? And don't tell me nothing cause I'll know you're lying," I warned.

He was quiet for a moment, twirling his fork around in his pile of noodles.

"I know it's stupid after the pep talk you gave me earlier, but I keep thinking…" he paused for a moment and I kept my focus on him, waiting for him to continue. "What if I'm not good enough? What if Gustavo hates me?"

I frowned at him, but he didn't lift his eyes from his plate. Where was all this self-doubt coming from? James had always been the most confident person I knew, bordering on cocky and conceited. Okay, more like already there. That's why his current behavior shocked me so much.

"James, look at me," I ordered, and he slowly brought his gaze up to rest on my face. "I don't ever wanna hear you say that again. Baby, you are phenomenal and I don't just say that because I love you. I say it because it's true. If Gustavo hates you, so what? He isn't the only producer in the world. Like you've said, this is gonna be your first time in front of one, and maybe it won't be your last, but that doesn't mean you aren't good enough. You never know what might happen. I say, just live in the moment, and before you know it, you'll be right where you want to be. Hey, look you've got me over here being all inspirational and speechy. I thought this was Kendall's job," I joked.

He laughed, and my heart warmed at the sound. I hated to see him doubting himself.

"Yeah, I guess so. Thanks, Hortense. You always know how to cheer me up," he grinned.

"Don't ever call me that again in your life," I warned with a glare.

"Aw, it's cute though. You might be Logan now, but you'll always be the adorable nerdy little Hortense I met in third grade," he teased.

"Shut up and eat your food," I commanded.

"Yes, sir," he laughed.

We finished eating and he helped me rinse our dishes and put them in the dishwasher. I was about to head back to the room to continue studying when he spoke.

"Um, I'm gonna go write a song. I figure I should sing something a little different tomorrow," he told me.

I smiled at him. "Okay. I can't wait to hear it, I'm sure it'll blow them away tomorrow. I'm just gonna go study some more. Try not to stay up too late, Jamie. It's better if we go early because I'm sure there's gonna be a line down the block," I said, leaning up to kiss him.

He returned it before grinning down at me. "Of course, babe. But you'll probably be asleep before I come up, so goodnight. I love you."

"I love you, too. Goodnight," I replied.

I watched him make his way to the door that led downstairs to the basement turned studio before heading back to the books. When it was getting close to 11:30, I called it a night and closed my textbooks. I performed my nightly ritual of taking a shower, washing my face, brushing my teeth and putting on my pajamas, which tonight was one of James's t-shirt's and some sweatpants. After putting my phone on the charger and setting an alarm for 6:15 the next morning, I crawled into bed with the faint sounds of guitar strings drifting through the vents.

***F.F.R.***

The classic beeping of my alarm woke me the next morning and I quickly shut it off before sitting up on the edge of the bed. I rubbed my eyes, disoriented as my sleep addled mind tried to remember why I was up this early. I turned my head to look over at the still slumbering James behind me and it slowly came back to me. I don't know what time he finally came to bed, but hopefully it wasn't too recently or this audition might not go as well as we hope. James got cranky if he didn't get enough sleep. I reached over to gently shake him awake. He groaned in protest and tried to roll away from my touch but I quickly grasped his shoulder and shook more firmly.

"James, wake up. Come on, you don't wanna miss your audition," I spoke loudly.

Another groan was my only answer, but this time it was more in understanding than protest. I waited until he sat up and I was sure he was awake before I went to the closet to get dressed for the day. I heard the shower start as I pulled a gray graphic tee over my head to go with my black jeans and boots. Clothes in place, I entered the bathroom that was just beginning to steam for a quick touch of styling gel to my hair.

"Logan, I'm out of body wash, could you grab the new bottle from the cabinet, please?" James called from behind the shower curtain.

"Yeah, sure."

I opened the cabinet beneath the sink and found the bottle. I handed it to him and was about to leave when he spoke again.

"You know, there's a lot of room in this shower stall. You could join me if you want," he said suggestively, peeking his head out with a smirk on his lips.

I rolled my eyes and grinned.

"Forget it babe. I showered last night, plus we don't really have any time to spare if you wanna beat the crowd at this audition. Most likely there's already a line," I informed him.

"You're no fun," he groaned and disappeared to continue his shower.

I snickered and made my way to the kitchen to make breakfast. I popped a couple pieces of bread into the toaster before cracking four eggs into to a bowl to start some scrambled eggs. By the time James was showered and dressed in his lucky white v-neck, black vest and dark blue jeans, I had the toast, eggs and bacon already plated and on the table. We ate quickly and then it was time to go. I grabbed my phone, wallet and keys before waiting at the door for James while he went to grab something from downstairs. A few moments later, he was back with a guitar case in hand and I followed him out before locking the door.

**James's POV**

I nervously shifted my feet as I waited in the crowded hallway for my number to be called, which was 93. I was certain that it was too early for there to be that many people ahead of me, but Logan was right, again.

"Number 86, you're up," a beautiful dark-skinned woman holding a clipboard called.

It was nearly my turn. I couldn't tell if I was relieved or if that just made me more nervous. I looked around for Logan who had left to get us something from Starbucks, but he still hadn't returned. I decided that I might as well listen to the song that I had written and recorded on my iPhone last night a few times to make sure I had the lyrics and chords down so I wouldn't embarrass myself by messing up my own song. I plugged in my headphones and put the song on repeat. I was halfway through the third play when Logan showed up looking very annoyed. I paused the song and yanked out my earbuds before he handed me my latte which I sipped as he began to speak.

"Sorry I took so long, but this stupid prick wouldn't let me through because he thought I was 'cutting,'" he informed we with a roll of his eyes and air quotes. "I mean, they give you fucking numbers, you idiot. Even if I was here to audition and I did cut in line, you would still be going ahead of me so what does it matter? Dumbass."

"Whoa, Loges, chill. It's all good in the neighborhood. And I have no idea why I just said that," I laughed, and he joined me.

"James, you're so weird," he said, tapping me with the back of his hand.

"I know right?" I exclaimed and he rolled his eyes.

"What were you listening to?" He asked reaching for my phone, but I shoved it into my pocket.

"Sorry," I quickly apologized at the look of miffed confusion on his face. "I was just listening to my audition song. I don't want you to hear it yet," I explained.

"Okay... I guess I'll hear it soon enough though." He smiled.

"Number 92."

Oh fuck, I'm next. My forgotten nerves were suddenly back full force and Logan noticed.

"Hey James, don't let these nerves get the best of you, you're gonna do fine. I really don't get what happened to your confidence, babe. I'm not used to having to reassure you so much. It's usually the other way around," he frowned.

"I don't know either, but I'm sure it won't last. I'm gonna smash this audition, blow Gustavo away, and then you won't be able to stand me anymore cause I'll have so much confidence and swagger and you'll look like a potato next to me," I foretold with a cheeky grin.

He laughed and my grin widened. "Glad to hear that. And I look like a potato next to you all the time so I'm not worried."

I was about to protest, but was interrupted.

"Number 78."

I turned to the woman with the clipboard who already looked ready to go home and tilted my lips up. The guy that went before me stormed passed looking close to tears and my smile dropped. Was that gonna be me? I really hoped not. I grabbed the handle of my guitar case that rested on the floor and braced myself for what awaited me.

"Good luck," Logan said and I paused.

"Hey, Miss, um..." I trailed off as she stopped her trek back into the audition room and turned to me.

"Wainwright, but call me Kelly," she informed me.

"Kelly. Is it okay if my boyfriend comes into the audition with me?"

She seemed reluctant, but slowly nodded. A satisfied smile creped onto my face before I turned to Logan to make sure we were both following Kelly into the room. I handed him my Starbucks cup as the door closed behind us.

"Why are there two of them?" A voice bellowed and I jumped.

We looked over to see a plump man with a red face – no, not Santa Claus – sitting at a half-round table with a pair of shades in his hand as if he had just snatched them off in outrage. My guess was that this was the Gustavo Rocque. Kelly tiredly made her way over to sit next to him.

"Uh, I'm here to um, I'm just here to watch. You know, for support," Logan's voice cracked nervously.

"Keep your support over there," Gustavo yelled with a pointed finger at Logan before he turned it on me. "You! Up front and start! Singing!"

A table which was apparently the other half to Gustavo's was pushed against the wall near us and Logan went to sit on top of it as the other chairs in the room were all stacked up, setting our drinks down next to him. I practically ran over to stand a few feet in front of the table and pulled my guitar out.

"I'm gonna sing a song I wrote that was inspired by some very wise words from the guy who's gonna cure cancer someday," I told them, looking over at Logan with a teasing smirk.

He grinned back with a curious light in his eyes and Gustavo took a deep breath so I quickly began singing.

_I gotta keep myself_

_In check sometimes_

_Cause I tend to dream_

_Real big sometimes_

_The fancy outfits_

_And the sparkly awards_

_My name in lights_

_The people lined up at the doors_

_But I gotta remember_

_To take it one step at a time_

_Cause people seem to think_

_That you'll be happier _

_Once you reach the top_

_You'll have it all_

_But I'm living for right now_

_Cause what if tomorrow never comes_

_I'm not waiting_

_I'm not waiting_

_For the confetti to fall_

Surprisingly, Gustavo hadn't shouted at me to stop yet. I figured that was a good thing so I continued playing.

_I can't just sit around_

_And wait for my life to start_

_I can make a difference_

_Put a little happiness_

_In someone's heart_

_The fancy car_

_The glitter_

_And the fame_

_It's all nice_

_But it won't be worth a thing_

_Love is bigger_

_So I'mma stand up_

_For love yeah_

I looked over at Logan and winked. The grin on his face was so wide it looked painful.

_People seem to think_

_That you'll be happier _

_Once you reach the top_

_You'll have it all_

_But I'm living for right now_

_Cause what if tomorrow never comes_

_I'm not waiting_

_I'm not waiting_

_For the confetti to fall_

By now I was pretty confident but I tried not to let it show just in case. Gustavo had a good poker face, but Kelly looked very impressed. I felt better knowing that they were actually gonna let me finish the song and not send me out crying after the first verse.

_If there was a rope_

_Stretching up to the sky _

_With all of my dreams_

_At the very top so high_

_I get so caught up_

_In everything around me_

_Moving quickly_

_I forget to cherish_

_Every single moment I receive_

_I forget about the climb_

_I just wanna get there_

_Don't wanna wait in line_

_Even though it's so clear_

_That I'm called to use patience_

_On this journey that I'm on_

_I know that I'll come out alive_

_And it'll only make me stronger_

_While everybody's focused_

_On the hype_

_I'll be wondering why_

_We seem to think_

_You'll be happier _

_Once you reach the top_

_You'll have it all_

_I'm living for right now_

_Cause what if tomorrow never comes_

_I'm not waiting_

_I'm not waiting_

_No_

_People seem to think_

_You'll be happier _

_Once you reach the top_

_You'll have it all_

_But I'm living for right now_

_Cause what if tomorrow never comes_

_I'm not waiting_

_No I'm not waiting_

_For the confetti to fall_

_I'm not waiting_

_To be happy_

_No no no_

_No no no _

_No no no _

_No no no_

_Ooh yeah_

I trailed off to a finish and waited for a response. Logan started clapping enthusiastically, but abruptly halted at the withering glare from Gustavo through his yellow lensed shades. This guy was scary.

"That! Was! Actually really good," he screamed before suddenly dropping his tone. "Kelly, put him on the callback list! Give her your information, then get out!" he roared.

I made sure Kelly had my name, number and address before speedily packing away my guitar and exiting the room with Logan by my side. The smile never left my face.

***F.F.R.***

I hadn't been calm for one second since the audition yesterday besides the few hours I was asleep last night. I had called everyone I could think of to tell them that I one step away from getting a record deal. I nearly almost even called the police to tell them until Logan reminded me of the ticket that I did not want to pay later. Thank God I have a smart boyfriend who thinks about the consequences when I don't feel like it.

It was almost 2 and I was at the gym to work off some of my excitement when my phone rang. It was an unknown number and my heart beat accelerated double it's already fastened pace. I answered it, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Hello?"

"Hi this is Kelly Wainwright, assistant to Gustavo Rocque. Is this James Diamond?" she questioned.

"Yes," I croaked before clearing my throat and repeating it.

"Well, James, we'd like for you to come to Rocque Records where you and the others who got a callback will have a final audition for the record deal that may or may not be attended by our CEO Arthur Griffin depending on his schedule. Can you make it here by 3 pm?"

"Yes, yes. No problem. Thank you so much, I will see you later," I rushed out excitedly and we both said goodbye.

I only had half an hour to go from sweaty to fabulous, so I abandoned my workout, packed up my gym bag, and speed walked out the door. I had left my car with Logan since it was only a five minute drive to the gym so I jogged home. I could tell that there was a little bit of traffic but I just hoped it wasn't too bad when I was leaving for Rocque Records. I slowed to a walk when I reached the corner of our street and pulled out my keys at the end of the driveway. The car was gone so I knew Logan wasn't home. I figured he must've just gone to the store or to a friend's house because I knew he didn't have class. No worries, I'll call him when I get out of the shower. I whipped my tank top off as soon as I was through the door and left it and my gym bag on the floor by the couch. I kicked off my running shoes and socks while I made my way to the bathroom to start the shower. I dropped my shorts and briefs in one move and turned on the water. Before it was even all the way adjusted, I jumped in. It was probably the quickest shower of my life, but everything got washed. I got out and grabbed a towel to wrap around my waist before picking up a smaller one to rub over my head. When my hair was no longer dripping, I tossed the towel into the hamper and headed to the bedroom. I had just opened the closet door to find an outfit when I heard Logan enter the house.

"James, why can't you ever wait until you get to the bathroom before you start getting naked?" he complained.

"Hello to you too, Logan," I called playfully. "I was just about to call you."

"Did you need something from the store?" he asked apologetically, his voice closer so I knew he was coming into the room.

"No, I just need the car. I got a call from Gustavo Rocque's assistant and she said I need to be at Rocque Records at 3 for a final audition before they make a choice," I informed him as he appeared in the doorway.

He grinned. "Awesome, I bet you're gonna do even better today. But you better hurry, It's already a quarter after and there's sure to be traffic," he warned.

By now I was used to Logan's old people time so it didn't take much thinking to know what he meant. I had fifteen minutes left if I wanted to leave by 2:30. Well, fuck. My hair is a mess and I still haven't found anything to wear. I groaned as I snatched a pair of straight legged jeans from a hanger and threw them on the bed before pulling out a dark navy blue and grey small checked button up with a black muscle tee to go underneath. I let the towel slide down my legs as I went to the dresser for some underwear and a pair of socks. Logan wolf-whistled and laughed before going back to the kitchen to put up the groceries. I was completely dressed along with my Chuck Taylor's on my feet, a grey G-Shock on my wrist and a small pendant necklace around my neck within five minutes. I only had ten minutes left to do my hair and leave, so I only gave it a quick blow dry and sadly left it productless. I knew it would look fine without it, but it wouldn't be perfect. I made sure I had my phone, wallet and keys before walking to join Logan in the kitchen where I found him making a sandwich.

"Hey, babe. Do you want one really quick before you leave? You can have this one," he offered.

"No thanks, I'm too excited to eat. Are you coming with me?" I asked hopefully.

"If you want me to," he answered.

"Hurry up with that sandwich. I'll be in the car."

***F.F.R.***

I nearly skipped from the car to the entrance of Rocque Records. Logan trailed behind me at more normal pace that left me impatiently holding the door open for him for a good ten seconds. I gave my name at the front desk and the receptionist directed us to the fifth floor. I excitedly jabbed at the 'up' button as if it would make the elevator come faster. Seconds later it dinged and the doors opened. I pulled Logan into the elevator with me and hit the appropriate button a few times.

"James calm down, jeez," Logan admonished.

I ignored him. This was too exciting to calm down. We arrived at our floor and got off. A few feet from the elevator, as directed by the lady downstairs, we rounded a corner and walked down a hall that led to a lounge area which was already occupied by Gustavo, Kelly, five other guys and three girls.

"Hey, James right? You made it just in time," Kelly spoke.

"Great! Sorry, there was traffic, but when isn't there?" I responded.

"Enough chit chat! Let's get this over with," Gustavo bellowed.

"Yes. Let's see which one of you can make me the most money," an older business type guy said while entering the room.

He was flanked by two other men and a woman, all sporting 'no nonsense' expressions. The air tensed, everyone - including Gustavo - becoming suddenly nervous. I knew immediately that this was the CEO Kelly had mentioned.

"Okay, so we're gonna get a bit fancier with this round of the audition," Kelly informed us, breaking the tension. "We have a pre-prepared song that each of you are going to record. Then Mr. Griffin, his team and Gustavo will judge which of you is the best candidate for the record deal based on sound, look and likability. Does everyone understand?" Everyone nodded. "Good. Let's get started."

It turned out that only six of us were here to audition and the others were here for support just like Logan. They took us into the recording booth one by one, some coming out sooner than others. I was the fourth one up and had recorded my song in just two takes. They didn't seem all that impressed, but surprised me by telling me to return to the lounge area. The first two of the guys and a girl who didn't even look out of middle school yet that went before me had left as soon as they came out of the booth so I had just assumed that whoever they picked would get another callback. When I got back, Logan had stood up from the off white couch he waited on to leave having assumed the same thing as I had, but I just pushed him back down and gave him an excited grin before explaining that they had told me to wait. He grinned back and being the nice person he is, turned to call out "good luck" to the only other girl auditioning as she went to take her turn in the booth. I wasn't offended, knowing that that was just Logan. And maybe him being who he is didn't only help me because before long the last guy was getting up to follow Kelly to the booth as the girl who looked maybe a year or two younger than us rejoined us on the adjacent couch with a relieved expression.

"I thought for sure I was gonna choke up and blow it like I almost did at the first audition," she admitted.

Logan turned from our conversation about possibly returning to Minnesota for the summer to visit our families and Kendall and Carlos to smile at her.

"I guess you're glad then," he replied.

"Yeah, thanks for telling me 'good luck.' I can't really say if it helped or not, but I appreciate it," she said sincerely. "I'm Jo, by the way."

"Logan. And you're welcome, I was just being polite," he laughed.

"Still. I probably won't get it though. I'm more of an actress, but singing is my second passion so I thought I might as well give it a shot since a lot of singers become actresses or actors anyway," she reasoned.

"Very true. Hopefully I get to see you on TV one day," Logan said playfully.

I know they were just making conversation, but I couldn't help feeling a tiny bit jealous. I mean, Jo was actually kind of hot, and if I wasn't committed to Logan, I probably would've tried to flirt with her. Blonde hair, light brown eyes, and a pretty nice smile, but nothing compared to my Logie Bear's. I was just about to smoothly insert myself into the conversation when Logan did it for me.

"And don't be offended, but James here has got it in the bag. He has the most amazing voice I've ever heard, but I might be just a lot more than a bit biased," he joked.

I grinned smugly. "That I do, Logan. Get ready to be a part of my entourage," I teased.

He laughed rolling his eyes.

"As you can see, he's not very humble," he told Jo with pretend exasperation.

She laughed and was about to reply, but was interrupted.

"And then there were two," Griffin quoted ominously as he reentered the room with his team, Gustavo and Kelly coming in behind him.

Me, Logan and Jo all stood up expectantly. I caught sight of the retreating back of the last guy down the hall towards the elevator. Oh my God. I'm one of the final two. That means I have a 50/50 chance of walking out of here in either disappointment or satisfaction. But either way, I'll still feel ten times better with the knowledge that I made it this far. Even if they don't pick me, at least I was good enough to be their second choice out of probably hundreds of possibilities.

"James and Jo, Mr. Griffin was most impressed with you two, but unfortunately we can't sign you both as we only have time and the means to work with one new artist," Kelly explained apologetically.

"So one of you has to go," Griffin continued for her a lot more bluntly. He started slowly pacing in front of us with his hands clasped behind his back. "Now, my research team came up with a quick analysis of what is popular right now and how each of you fit the bill. The girl has the sweet girl-next-door look that would make an instant role model for young girls worldwide. Parents love a good role model and wouldn't hesitate to spend lots of money on CDs and posters for their children. But the boy," he stopped in front of me and gave me an appraising glance. "You, my boy have so much potential!" he cried joyously.

I gave an uncertain smile, casting a hurried glance around the room. Griffin continued his pacing and his speech.

"You're too old to be the typical teen heartthrob, but my research team assures me that it makes you that much more of a good investment. Teen popstars these days are harshly underestimated and monitored closely, watched for any mess ups only to be judged. You are already 21 and it's expected of you to go out and party, so any press of you in a club would be looked at as all in good fun and not as a bad influence. We also have to point out that your good looks combined with the fact that you are indeed a legal adult could draw in a much wider female audience than just young tweenage girls. Women of all ages will fall in love and rush to buy your music and merchandise. And your voice is so impressive, men too," he finished.

"So if he hasn't made it clear, blondie is out," Gustavo spoke up rudely.

My heart stopped. I had barely been processing what Griffin had been saying, but I was definitely sure Gustavo wasn't referring to me with that statement. I turned wide eyes to look over at Jo, and obviously she was thinking the same thing. Her heartbroken expression actually diminished some of my excitement. Logan's eyes sparkled up at me accompanied with a brilliant grin and I had to return it as he wrapped his arms around me gleefully. He pulled away after a few seconds and drew back on his excitement before turning to Jo. He gave her a sympathetic smile and offered his arms out for a hug to her as well. She slowly accepted it.

"Don't worry, I'm sure when you become a famous actress, you'll forget all about this," he said trying to cheer her up.

"Thanks, Logan. And congratulations, James. I'm sure you deserve it," she smiled weakly.

"Thank you," I replied, trying to keep the wattage of my smile down so as not to rub my happiness in her face, but I'm not sure I succeeded.

"Hey, maybe we should hang out sometime! My friend Camille is an actress too and she's always making me help her run her lines so I could help you out with your auditions," Logan suggested.

My jealousy was back even though rationally I knew he was offering as just a friend. Logan felt the same way about me as I did him and he would never hurt me, especially not right in front of my face. I was distracted from their exchange as Kelly got my attention and told me to follow them to Gustavo's office to get some paperwork started.

That's when it really hit me, like a ton of bricks. My dream was coming true. I dreamily sat across from Griffin with Gustavo, Kelly, and his research team off to the sides barely paying attention as they explained that they usually had a temporary three month contract in which time the artist would record a demo to be tested for its projected consumer response and other stuff, and how that response would determine if they would get a more definite recording contract or if they would be rejected. But I perked up when Griffin mentioned that his research team was 96% positive that they could skip the temporary contract and go straight for second one and make it a done deal. Logan would probably scold me for not reading it first if he was in the room, but I numbly went through the motions of signing my name on every line they pointed to anyway. It left me reeling that they had so much confidence in me. I was so shocked that I wasn't even aware of Griffin and his team leaving or of Logan entering the room. I only discovered it when I heard him shouting in my ear, telling me I had better not have went into one of my stress freezes. I quickly tried to snap myself out of it before I did end up frozen.

"I'm not, Logan, just shocked. This is so unreal. I can't believe this is happening right now," I said in awe.

"Well, believe it! I don't like you - getting that out of the way before we go any further – but Griffin likes you and he is my boss. So you better not mess this up!" Gustavo shouted.

I frowned. What did I do for him not to like me? Maybe he just hates everyone.

"I won't, Gustavo. I've waited too long for this day. I promise, you won't regret signing me," I assured him.

"I better not! You start recording your debut album next week. Now get out and don't come back until then!" he yelled.

I scrambled out of my seat. Kelly walked us back out to the lounge and I turned to her.

"Thank you guys so much for this opportunity. This is the greatest moment of my life," I said gratefully.

"I'm glad for you. I was hoping Griffin would pick you, and I know Gustavo was too. He acts all scary but he's actually a big softy. Don't tell him I said so," she joked.

I could already tell that she would be an ally here. I laughed.

"Okay, promise. See you next week," I grinned at her.

"You too. Bye, Logan. I can see that I'm probably gonna be seeing a lot of you," she said knowingly.

He looked down sheepishly. "Probably."

We all laughed and Logan and I left. On the way to the car he grabbed my hand.

"I'm _so_ proud of you Jamie. I knew you would make it someday," he told me softly.

"I know, Logan. I have you to thank for all of this. If you had never brought us out here, I would still be in Minnesota and I would've missed this opportunity. Thank you for making my dream come true," I said, stopping by the car to pull him into my arms for a tight hug.

"I didn't, James. That was all you. Even if we were still in Minnesota, you still would've made it happen somehow. You were born to be a star, just like I was born to be a doctor," he reasoned, dimples popping out.

He's so damn cute. I couldn't help my lips from dropping onto his for a hard kiss. I pulled away, unlocked the car with the keychain remote, and opened my door.

"If you say so, it must be true… Hortense," I finished cheekily.

"I told you not to call me that!" he whined, coming towards me.

I dived behind the wheel and shut my door, cackling as I waited for the assault I was about to receive once he got in the car. It didn't matter, I had the love of my life and my dream was now reality. Nothing take the smile off my face.

**A/N: Please please please review and tell me what you think! Is this story as boring as it seems? Do you have any predictions or is there anything/anyone you wanna see next? Let me know! Thanks for reading. (:**


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: So I'm aware that this is really late, and I have no excuse other than I got distracted by fangirling on Twitter and Instagram, and by other fanfics. That's basically all I do because I have no life. Btw, how fucking Jamazing (yeah, I went there) is 24/seven?! So proud of our boys who are no longer boys but grown sexy men. :')**

**I apologize in advance for the crappy lyric changes that occur in the song Up by Justin Bieber that I used for this chapter, but I figured if James is playing it just for Logan, he wouldn't call him girl or 'lace him with pearls.' Also I noticed while I was rereading this that I've written James's character as basically a vainer, male version of me. Sorry if it hurts your eyes.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or its characters or any of the celebrities mentioned in this chapter. I also do not own the songs I Know, You Know by Big Time Rush or Up by Justin Bieber.**

**James's POV**

Everyone back home had been so happy when me and Logan called to tell them the news. My mom even started crying and went into this deep talk about how no one had ever really supported her dream of running a major cosmetics company and that she was so proud that I had accomplished mine just as she did. Then she kind of ruined it by telling me that there was always a job for me in her company when I got tired of playing popstar. Logan couldn't stop praising me about it, even going so far as giving me multiple... rewards. Not that I was complaining. I love cake! Just joking. It's not cake.

I was in my third week of recording and it was going really well. Surprisingly Gustavo let me record my own songs along with the ones he had written and even let me give my own input and ideas. We had already finished more than an album's worth of songs and were set to record a bunch more. Logan wasn't with me everyday, but when he was, I always made sure to get his opinion. I loved how his face would light up at a part he really liked. Gustavo wasn't happy when I asked Logan what he thought about a song, especially if it was his song, but I didn't really care.

I was currently in the recording booth, waiting as Gustavo played back what I had just sung. It was one of the songs he had written called 'I Know, You Know' and had a rap in it that I wasn't really sure about. Logan sat on the black leather sofa behind Gustavo and Kelly listening with a small smile on his lips but he was slightly frowning. He started speaking, but from my place behind the glass, I couldn't hear what he said. Gustavo suddenly turned and shouted at him, making him jump. What did he say?

"Hey what's going on?" I spoke into the mic over the music.

Kelly reached over and turned the playback off then pressed the button that allowed me to hear them.

"Logan mentioned that he thought it would sound better if someone else did the rap, but Gustavo… disagrees. I think it's actually a good idea," she finished glaring at Gustavo.

"I don't have time to find a rapper or the money to pay said rapper to feature on this song!" he said loudly.

"Well… maybe Logan can do it," I suggested.

"Me?!"

"Logan?!" Logan and Gustavo yelled at the same time.

"Yeah, Logan. Why not?" I grinned.

"I'm not paying _Logan_ for that," Gustavo protested as if it would be the worst thing in the world.

"You don't have to because I'm not doing it. I was just making an observation, it's fine the way James does it," Logan nervously interjected.

"Oh come on, Logie. It'll be fun. You know you want to. Just do it. And Gustavo, do you really _have_ to pay him? I mean his boyfriend _is_ on the road to being a millionaire, it's not like he needs it," I reasoned.

"Fine, if it's for free, he can do it. Get in there, dog!" Gustavo griped.

"No! What if this becomes like a really big hit and then I have to _perform_ it with you or something?" He still looked hesitant.

"Logan, you're doing this for free, so we don't even have to put your name on it. If it comes to that, we'll probably just have a back track with your voice," Kelly explained.

"Logan, just get in here, we'll worry about it later!" I commanded.

He slowly made his way to the door leading into the booth looking like he was walking towards his death. Right before he entered I motioned for Kelly to sound-proof the booth again and she did, rolling her eyes. I turned back to Logan as the door closed behind him. He was staring at the floor looking entirely too nervous.

"Logan, look at me." I waited for his eyes to raise to mine. "I made Kelly sound-proof the room so they can't hear us for a moment. Babe, I don't get it, why is it so scary for you to do this?" I asked gently.

"I don't know, I just... I'm just worried that I will screw up your song. I mean, my voice isn't as great as yours and even if it's just a rap, I still feel like my voice will ruin it," he confessed.

"Logan, that's ridiculous. Trust me, you have nothing to worry about. You could never ruin my song. If it helps, think about me. Thinking about you always helps me when I'm singing because I can connect to the lyrics better," I told him with a smile.

Dimples and white teeth flashed in return. It's crazy how his smile still made my stomach leap, but it's just that beautiful. He raised his lips up to mine for a lingering kiss before pulling back slightly, mouth hovering before mine.

"Thanks James. I'll try my best," he promised before giving me another quick peck and moving away.

He grabbed the extra set of headphones hanging on the mic and put them on. I turned to give Kelly a thumbs up. Gustavo pressed the button for her.

"Okay James, we're gonna keep your vocals so Logan, you just come in on your part and we should be good," Gustavo aggressively informed us.

"Got it," Logan said, a shaky smile resting on his lips.

I stepped forward to the stool in the corner just to the right of the booth window, picking up the fruit water that rested there before taking a seat.

"Remember, just look at me if you need to. Or think of Taylor Lautner, Megan Fox, that Bieber kid who's hair is definitely _not_ better than mine, whatever gets you going," I joked.

He rolled his eyes with a grin. "Shut up, James. And actually Bieber's hair is pretty nice, he might have you beat," he teased.

"I don't think so." I pulled out my lucky comb and ran it through my silky, heavenly strands. "My hair is fucking fabulous."

"_Why_ are you chit chatting about hair instead of paying attention to your _job_," Gustavo yelled at us.

"Sorry, I'm ready," Logan announced.

Gustavo's angry face didn't go away as he played back the song, starting it just a little bit before Logan's part. Logan took a deep breath and looked over at me as he began his verse.

_Hey, baby_

_You drive me crazy_

_It ain't about what you've done to me lately_

_It's all about you_

_No lie, it's the truth_

_Just wanna say _

_I've got a big time crush on you_

He finished and Gustavo cut the music.

"Logan, that was great!" I complemented.

Before he could respond, Gustavo was speaking. "That was terrible!" He bellowed. The smile fell from Logan's face and I frowned as well. "Do it again! Then I want you to do some background vocals for the remainder of the song and then get out!"

I glared at Gustavo and caught sight of Kelly's reassuring smile. I turned back to Logan.

"Don't be afraid to sing a little, babe. It'll sound amazing," I encouraged.

He looked unsure, but nodded.

"Okay, so the background part is just a few echoes or something?" he questioned.

"Yes, yes, now get ready!" Gustavo commanded before pressing the playback again.

Logan took my advice and sang. I had just thrown it out there because even rappers who can't sing still do it and it sounds good, but Logan's voice actually sounded amazing. I was surprised he had never shown an interest in it like I had but then again, maybe he wasn't aware of his talent while mine was pretty much undeniable if I do say so myself. The wide smile on my face must have looked really stupid if the expression on Logan's face was anything to go by, but I didn't care.

I stood up as the track ended and grabbed him into a tight hug. I dropped a kiss onto his lips excitedly and he slowly returned it. He pulled away after a moment looking up at me skeptically.

"So does that mean I did good, or?"

"Logan, that was more than just good, that was incredible! I didn't know you could sing!" I exclaimed.

"That's because I can't." He shifted uncomfortably.

"Then what do you call what you just did?" I asked incredulously.

"Um, hog calling maybe? But definitely not singing," he self-deprecatingly said.

"Logan stop, for serious I will assault you. I know Mrs. Mitchell taught you lying is wrong, so you better get your act together mister," I chastised him jokingly.

"James, you dork, shut up. It wasn't that good," he denied.

"Actually, I think it was," a male voice announced from outside the booth.

We both looked over to see Griffin bending over Gustavo and Kelly's shoulders to speak into the microphone. His ever-present assistant towered beside him. When did he get here? He looked slightly conflicted, like he couldn't decide if he was happy or mad at the moment.

"I like the way you two sound together." I grinned. "What I don't like is your relationship. It has to end. Now." Ok, grin gone.

"What?!" Logan and I shouted at the same time.

I yanked my headphones off and exited the booth with Logan following behind me. Griffin straightened and turned to us as we reentered the control area.

"James, I can't have my new artist in a relationship, let alone a _gay_ one. That's like putting 'don't buy me' on the album cover. It'll never sell and the whole point is to sell records and make lots of money. It's better if you breakup now before we release you to the public eye," Griffin explained.

"I'm not breaking up with Logan," I protested.

"You will if you want to keep your job. It's in your contract that personal life cannot conflict with your public image and if your choices put the label at risk of losing money, we can drop you. I see this relationship as a risk, and if you don't want to end it, I can end your contract," he warned.

I was speechless. How could he just order me to break up with the love of my life? There was no way I could do that. I looked at Logan and took in his pained expression. He met my gaze and I saw fear flicker in his eyes for a second and then they just settled into sadness. He didn't think I would actually do it, did he?

"I can't. I don't care if you end my contract, but I can't break up with Logan. I love him," I said forcefully.

Logan's mouth opened in shock. "James, no! We have to break up. You've waited too long for this and I don't want to be the reason that you finally get it only to give it up again," he mournfully told me.

That made me pause for a second. But what would be the point of living my dream if I didn't have Logan by my side to live it with me?

"I'd rather have you," I said, grasping his chin before brushing my lips against his.

"James, you're such an idiot," he whispered.

"But I'm your idiot, right?" I asked cheekily.

"No, you're _my_ idiot!" Gustavo nearly busted a blood vessel to yell. "I've spent too much time and energy on you for you to just give up! I refuse to let you quit!"

"Well, sorry Gustavo, but Mr. Griffin said I had to choose, and Logan is my choice," I firmly stated.

Gustavo looked ready to explode and Kelly stood up to join the conversation.

"Wait, wait. Mr. Griffin, can't they just keep it a secret? I mean, if anyone asks, Logan could just be James's best friend and roommate. As long as they don't do any PDA, no one would know the truth," Kelly reasoned.

I lit up at the idea. "Yeah, why can't we do that? And I could bring fake dates when I need one and just make it look like I'm single and looking for a girlfriend. I'm a great actor," I assured him.

"Hmm," Griffin hummed in thought. "I guess it would be fine. We'll just have to hire someone to pose as your girlfriend if the media ever becomes suspicious. _Don't_ let that happen," Griffin said.

Then he was abruptly walking out with the silent Abdul trailing behind him.

"Well, that's enough for one day. Go away and come back tomorrow. And work on appearing to be just friends in public! We don't need someone seeing you together now and recognizing you later," Gustavo griped.

"Sure, don't worry. Bye Kelly, Gustavo, see you tomorrow," I called over my shoulder while dragging Logan out with me.

"Bye," he shouted as he stumbled into the hall.

**Logan's POV**

It's been hours since the incident at the studio, but I still couldn't get it out of my head. I knew James was satisfied with the compromise of still being together as long as we kept it a secret, but it bothered me. I couldn't help but think of all the bad things that could come of it. What if we slip up and the public finds out and it turns into a scandal? What if people don't accept me as his best friend because I'm not spotlight potential? What if people think I'm leeching off of James's success? Then come the really scary thoughts. What if James finds some super sexy model that I have no way of competing with and leaves me? What if he goes on a world tour and forgets about me? I wouldn't be able to handle it.

"Logan will you pay attention? This is the fifth time you've missed your queue," an annoyed Camille complained.

I looked up to see her with her hand on her hip and Jo was next to her with a slight frown on her brow.

"Sorry, I've just got a lot on my mind," I apologized weakly.

"What's wrong?" both girls asked at the same time.

"Well..." I paused, trying to figure out if I should tell them.

"Just tell us, Logan," Camille said.

"Okay, so I guess that the CEO of Rocque Records who signed James didn't know that James and I were together until today and he said that a gay popstar wouldn't sell or whatever. So he told us we had to break up or he would end James's contract –" I started but was interrupted by Camille.

She pushed at my shoulders, forcing me back to fall on her couch and she sat down next to me. Jo took my other side.

"Ohmigosh, Logan! Why didn't you mention this when you first came over to run lines with us? You must be so heartbroken, you and James were so perfect together," she rambled on and I put a hand up to stop her.

"Wait, we didn't break up," I informed them and they gave me incredulous looks. "James, being the idiot he is, was about to quit if we couldn't be together, so Kelly, who is Gustavo Rocque's assistant, suggested we just keep our relationship secret from the public and just tell everyone we're really good friends. So that's what we're doing," I explained.

"Wow, that sucks. But I guess you gotta make sacrifices when it comes to making it in Hollywood," Jo reasoned sympathetically.

"Yeah..." I trailed off, my mind centered on my fears again.

Would I end up being one of James's sacrifices?

"What else is there, Logan?" Camille asked with a concerned expression.

"Nothing really. I'm just being paranoid," I tried to blow it off, standing up.

Camille pulled me back down. "What about? C'mon, Logan, I can tell it's bothering you. Maybe we can help."

I sighed, averting my eyes to my lap and began toying with the pages of the script I still held.

"I don't know, I just keep thinking all these negative thoughts. Like what if James's career gets so big he never has time for us anymore and keeping it a secret just makes it worse? And he's gonna have to fake date all these beautiful models and singers that I couldn't even begin to compete with and he's gonna realize that he deserves way better. Someone who he can take out in public without having to worry about his dream coming to an end. There's so much that could happen and I'm just worried we won't last," I finished, my throat tight with unshed tears.

"Logan, that's crazy," Jo said resting an arm around my shoulders. "I've only known you guys for a few weeks, but I can tell how much you love each other and James cares about you too much for that to ever happen," she assured me.

Camille wrapped her arm around my waist, pulling me into a hug. "Jo's right. I think you need to talk to James about how you feel so you can hear it straight from his mouth that you have nothing to worry about," Camille suggested.

That's not gonna happen. I mean, telling them was one thing, but telling James was another. I know I'm being stupid and paranoid, but he doesn't need to know that. It would be too embarrassing. I think Camille could tell what I was thinking because she just gave my side another squeeze and smiled slightly.

"It'll be okay, Logan. Now let's get back to the script," she ordered lightheartedly.

***F.F.R.***

James was acting... weird. He was quiet but more affectionate than ever if that was possible. And he kept giving me these looks like he was waiting for me to tell him something but I had no idea what it was that he wanted to hear. I'm pretty sure there was nothing important coming up anytime soon that I had forgotten and I told him I loved him all the time. It was really starting to worry me.

I was laying on the couch reading a medical textbook when he walked in the door from another studio session. I hadn't been joining him since the whole thing three days ago because what "best friends" really go to work with each other everyday if they don't have the same job? I had to start to distancing myself from James just a little bit in public places. Before I could greet him, James was speaking.

"Hey Logie. Um, can you come downstairs with me for a minute? I wanna play you something," he requested, waving an unmarked CD in the air.

"Sure."

I jumped up from my lounging place and followed him down to the basement. Excitement bubbled in my chest. Did he finish his album already? I was sure Gustavo had a lot more songs he wanted him to record first, but maybe they had just picked from the at least two dozen he had already recorded. I guess I would find out. I sat down in one of the two chairs in the equipment filled room and he sat in the other in front his cluttered desk. He inserted the CD into his laptop before clicking a few things and few seconds later, music started playing. He turned to observe my expression as I listened to the words.

_**(Ew crappy lyric changes, sorry)**_

_It's a big big world_

_But only you and I exist_

_No other boy or girl_

_And I'm not ready to call it quits_

_We can make the sun shine_

_In the moonlight_

_We can make the gray clouds_

_Turn to blue skies_

_I know it's hard_

_Baby believe me_

_That we can go nowhere but up_

_From here my dear_

_Baby we can go nowhere but up_

_Tell me what we got to fear_

_We'll take it to the sky_

_Passed the moon_

_Through the galaxy_

_As long as you're with me baby_

_Honestly _

_With the strength of our love_

_We can go nowhere but up_

_It's a big big world_

_And I'm gonna show you all of it_

_With you my heart jumps and twirls_

_The greatest love and I got no regrets_

_We can make the sun shine_

_In the moonlight_

_We can make the gray clouds_

_Turn to blue skies_

_Yeah I know it's hard_

_Baby believe me_

_That we can go nowhere but up_

_From here my dear_

_Baby we can go nowhere but up_

_Tell me what we got to fear_

_We'll take it to the sky_

_Passed the moon_

_Through the galaxy_

_As long as you're with me baby_

_Honestly _

_With the strength of our love_

_We can go nowhere but up_

_Baby we were underground_

_We're on the surface now_

_We gonna make it boy_

_I promise_

_If you believe in love_

_And you believe in us_

_We can go nowhere but up_

_That we can go nowhere but up_

_From here my dear_

_Baby we can go nowhere but up_

_Tell me what we got to fear_

_We'll take it to the sky_

_Passed the moon_

_Through the galaxy_

_As long as you're with me baby_

_Honestly _

_With the strength of our love_

_We can go nowhere but up_

I was in awe as the last note died down. I could never get over how flawlessly talented James was and I could feel the emotion behind the song he had just played. I knew my heart must have been in my eyes as I gazed at him. Was I really special enough for him to write such a beautiful song for?

"I know you're probably wondering what brought that on," James spoke. "I've been waiting for you to say something, but I was starting to think you never would, so I figured I had to be the one to address it."

I frowned in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

He looked at me with a solemn expression.

"Camille called." Oh. "She told me some things and said that you agreed to tell me, but she wasn't sure you meant it. But I had to be sure, that's why I waited. Logan, why didn't you just tell me how you felt before? We could've talked about this and you would realize that you have nothing to worry about. And if keeping our relationship scares you that much, I can always quit or –"

"No!" I interrupted. "You can't quit, no matter what stupid scenario plays out in my insecure mind."

"But Logie, you have nothing to be insecure about! That song you just heard says it all. You're the only person I'm ever going to want and I'm a thousand percent positive of that. I love you so much it hurts and keeping it a secret isn't going to change that. So what, I may not get to claim you as mine to the world, but you and I know the truth. And believe me, it's not going to stop me from dragging you with me from country to country on tour and showing you things we've only read about and seen on TV. I wanna share the world you because you _are_ my world. Without you, everything else would be meaningless," he finished.

I swear I've never felt more like an emotional girl as I did in that moment. I tried to keep the tears back, I really did. But they fell anyway. How was it possible for someone like me to be blessed with the love of someone as beautiful and perfect as James? I reached out a hand wrapped it around the back of his neck, forcing his lips to mine. It didn't take long for the kiss to heat up, tongues and teeth clashing passionately. I pulled away breathlessly and rested my forehead against his.

"You know… I'm not really sure I completely believe you. I think I might need a _physical_ reminder of your love," I panted suggestively.

He grinned. "Oh, really? Well, I'm more than happy to demonstrate."

"Race you upst – Hey! Cheater!" I yelled after his retreating back, hot on his heels.

But I couldn't help but echo the laugh he let out as I toppled onto our bed beside him.

**So that's that. I've considered before writing a sex scene but then I always chicken out. It's staying T right now but I might end up changing it to M later anyway just because of the direction this story is going to take later on if not because of any man on man action. But is anyone even interested anymore? Please review! (:**


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